August 5, 2014
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first xanga in canada
wow, i forgot to pay for the next year and afraid that i will lost all these memory in xanga. although i already lost some.
life is not easy, i don’t know what to say. comparatively, i am a very lucky person that i have all things i need , but i never satisfy as i cannot enjoy the things which are already near me.
there are no happiness outside , the only thing matter is how i can have a strong and thankful heart, i am too easy to be disturbed as i perfectionist
i am not perfect but i want to make a better world and i wish the earth can be more beautiful ,
i want to defect the evil , if i ignore , then people around suffered
but how many things i can do, this make me very stressful
i also want to live an ordinary life and feel satify but my ambition is too high , need many scarify
love is sacrify
i don’t know where i belonged to , i am not a soc worker, i am not a botanist anymore (make me sad) ,i am not a missionary, i am not a teacher. if i willing to devote myself to one of these, i must be a happy person but i always don’t wanted to settle on one thing as i feel like i have a urge to chase on bigger thing
what can i do
the last 3 weeks in Canada, i will miss Ottawa,
miss my colleagues , miss the people i met here, miss the cycling and nature
miss the good time with different new friends and getting to know their stories
i am so glad,
it is difficult to say good bye as i know probably we will not meet each others again,
this make me sad , separation .
i hope i can help the RF in hK
God , i know you are still leading my way
let me see your face and i want to obey you
do miracle for the needy , you are their only hope, i can do nothing , i have no means , but your heart is bigger than mine, i know you have your way and your method to make it happened
God , have mercy on us
teach me to overcome all these.
you know my heart , which is full of bitterness and dissapointment , i still waiting for you to speak to me,
when you speak to me , i know i will wake up and i will have new life
let me hear you
